Where do I belong?

Here or there
I don’t know where
Where is home?
I don’t know where I belong

I have lived in two countries
Varied, diverse and utterly different
Am I worldly?
Or Can I be worldly
By living in just two countries

Or the number doesn’t matter at all
But the path I traveled in these countries,
The road I took for my journey towards adulthood,
The perspective I gained from these experiences OR
The truth I realized about my destiny
when I started living in this country.

I don’ t know
But what I know for sure
I that I am clueless today
I am not Indian and I am not American
I feel greatly stretched
torn apart between these two labels

If birth dictates and not heart
Then I am Indian
But if Heart trumps birth
Then I feel American

But, no matter how much
I am attracted to being American
I feel separated from it
I still feel an outsider

Halloween, thanks giving
Christmas all attract me
Pull me to it.
The Hollywood, the symphony
The artistic independence
The freedom to choose
Be yourself beyond any doubt
Is what I have found
In here, in this land of opportunity

What I have lost is
However, my identity.
I am not American to Americans here
And when I go back, I feel not as much Indian
As I am expected for my fair share

I am lost

This Land of Opportunity

Land of Opportunity

I came down here with hopes and dreams
Or I think it was rather a blank mind
I was following the sheep

Never really in life was it clear to me
What I wanted for me?
The life has been a routine till date
Same mornings, same nights
Like a theatrical act
That has been rehearsed
Thousand times.

As the metal bird descended
On this part of the world
I saw a sky never as orange as here
The hint of red and blue
Shining, shimmering under the evening sun

The air so clear, I was scared
I might pollute it with my breath
I held my breath for a while
Imbibed the excitement and then
Let go of it.

This was the land of opportunity
The land of dreams
The land to become my home
For life and eternity

As I became it and it very happily adopted me
The human mind played its role
And I started missing my family
Back home.

There came a point, when I was miserable
Clueless of my identity
Where do I belong?

The land where I was born
Or
The land where I found myself

The confusion is strong
That it still exists in me
Within me like a serpent
Rolled around a sandalwood tree

It chokes me sometimes
Sometimes frees me
And all I do is follow the sheep
In this land of opportunity

%d bloggers like this: