Even if I am only a Memory

Remember this day , my love
As I hold you, For eternity

memory

As this light fades, Into darkness
You are all I take, With me.
 I’ll be here in your heart
And live with you forever as a memory.
Whenever you will need me
I will still hold your hands.
Watch sunsets and sunrises
And dance in the rains.
Sit on park benches
Surrounded by daffodils and lilies.
Remember me even when I am gone
Even if I am just a memory.

You can’t fix everything

Take what you can
Leave what you can
For not everything is meant
To be fixed in your run

 fixing

Some scars are better left open
Don’t rush them
Don’t push them
It is time that is better than you
It is time-the best healer
Let it run its run

All you can do
Is share the pain
Lower the burden
And dance together

Dance in the rain

Make Love not War

john-lennon

Life they say has a meaning, a purpose to fulfill.

 Help the one in need, feed the starved

Nurse the wounded, Is what makes this

Life worth living.

Compassion for others, Infuses peace at last.

Brings a smile, To a dejected heart.

 Kindness for others, has a healing power

Can win wars, for it never starts one.

So love my friend, Love this life

And all its being.

For its love, that defines the mankind

When everything else goes blind.

New Year: New Resolution

new-year-resolution-c-carousel

It is that time of the year already, the time where we start thinking about the NEW YEAR and let go of the PAST and make RESOLUTIONS. So this is what I think the top 6 items in the RESOLUTION list should look like for a thirty year old, newly married (just about a year), INDIAN ( South Asian- It is important to specify this courtesy to the confusion created by Mr Columbus back in the day).

1. CALL HOME: You have been away from home for years now. Each festival is talked in terms of years. Five years ago was the last time  you celebrated Diwali with your parents, seven years for Holi and Rakshabandhan- don’t even think about it. Remember, your parents are not getting any younger with each year, time is limited. And since, you cannot go back and see them as and when you want, the least you can do is call them if not everyday, twice a week is no big deal. Call them on your commute  to work, or on weekends. A five minute of your call can worth inexplicable happiness for them.

2. YOUR PARTNER MATTERS: Your partner is your life now. You married them for a reason. I understand life can get in your way but remember the vows you shared. All it takes is five to ten minutes of conversation. Sit with your better half over a cup of coffee after you reach home from work. And no cell phone, no TV, no music, just talk, plain, simple, heartfelt conversation. Life is good from there on.

3. PLAN FOR FUTURE: Start saving man. Life can get hard and is very unpredictable. Hence, start saving. 5-10 percent of your monthly salary should go into savings without a fail. Have two or three accounts and split your monthly salary between these accounts. Categorize them into major expense areas: grocery, travel, rent etc. You would be amazed how much you save at the end of a year or when you do analysis: how much you spend on what.

4. TRAVEL: No matter how busy your life gets, get outside of your house and your monotonous weekday life, which feels like a routine. Travel. You can travel for cheap. Look for weekend getaways close to your city. You don’t have to go to Hawaii or Paris to feel the change. A small park some miles from your home, a secluded hike or a walk on the beach can do the trick. It helps you get re-energize. You can enjoy the trip all by yourself if you need to look into yourself, find yourself, or just enjoy a sunset on the beach with your partner. Remember, good things doesn’t need to be expensive.

5. HOBBY/PASSION: Imagine a drag life, following a routine and doing what everyone is doing. Doesn’t seem like fun right? Everyone has a passion for something, if you know what your passion is, great half of the deal is done. In case, you don’t know what is your passion, take out some time to explore. Believe me it is a worth investment. It could be anything from writing, working out, reading, hiking, gardening, volunteering, bird watching etc.and when you find it, hold on to it and pursue it.

6. EXERCISE: Nothing is as good an investment as your own body. As you grow old, your body needs extra care. ” Handle with Care” is just written all over it, when you are old. And in case, you don’t want to fall apart when that age hits, invest in your own body. Remember, your body is the closest you got to yourself. 20-30 minutes of everyday is all it needs. Pick any exercise: swimming, walking, jogging, yoga, strength training etc. The world is full of them. Just pick one and do it.

(Image courtesy: Google Images)

Go back to the place this heart belongs

Go back
Go back to those
Whom you left
Long time ago

To the two bedroom house
Where you lived and made memories, all along

To the balcony
Where every morning, during the winter season
Your father sat reading the newspaper
His white hair, glowed like a unicorn’s tail
And you stood behind him, patiently waiting
Waiting for him, to finish the sports section.

To the sofa of your living room
Which was your bed, for most part of your childhood
On which with your left hand behind your head
Forming a pillow and with your legs stretched
You laid for hours with remote on your right hand
Switching between channels, Every other minute
Ignoring the beautiful yet angry voice
Coming from the kitchen and falling into your ears
“The food is getting cold”
“Go to the market, there is no sugar in the house”
“What am I going to do with this child of mine?”
And you smiled, the most pure of a smile
you just smiled

To the study table
That belonged to you and only you
The mysteries it held and the secrets you buried
And locked in its bottom drawers
Some were part of your childhood imagery
and some formed your adulthood fantasies

To the woman you knew
Before you knew a woman at all
A selfless human being in a true sense.
No favors done, no favors given
It was all out of pure love and nothing at all
On seeing you return from school everyday
The glow of her heart, showed on her face
Her eyes said that you were gone for ever
When you were gone only for few hours.

To the friends you have left behind
Who were more than friends to you back then
Some confidantes and some accomplices
Some a savior, a messiah
and Some a shoulder to cry on.
They were your own, Your treasures that you never bought
No relation by blood, but yet stronger beyond imagination

Go back to them
You foolish and lonely man
What have you got here? Why are you here?
Ask not these questions, But answer them for me
And when you cannot find it easy to answer
Remember, all it means is that
It is time to leave.

And that you should have left, a long time ago.
When your father couldn’t read any more
When your mother couldn’t say your name at all
When your friends forgot you existed some million years ago
And when the balcony, the sofa, the study table
All of your formidable treasures
Got lost in the dust of these million years,
You should have left, you should have gone back.

Go back,
for the memories are still intact
Go back,
for the missing piece of your heart
Go back,
to the place where this heart still belongs.

Bring these walls down

These walls that stand between you and me
of broken bricks, red and crimson
of copper and brass, of steel and iron.

To you it is a sense of security
a guarantee of safety, from the world outside
from me whom you think of as your enemy.

But it is not me, who is your enemy.
It is these walls itself.
They blocked me from your life and
you never looked at me, nor in my eyes.

But here lies the history.
In the end these walls fall.
They have always caved in.
The bravest of all, the strongest of all.
They all give in, to the test of times.

The slapping of winds, the rust of rain
break it, make it fragile.
May be it is the nature’s way of telling you a story,
that these walls that you erected, between you and me
are meant to perish, like you and me.

And what remains when we are gone
Is nothing but the hostility and insecurity
that persists and permeates
through these walls into the lives of
our coming generations

You may block my vision
and I may not see you
but my thoughts can’t be chained
I think of you as my brother
I think of you as my friend

So my friend, I plea to you
break it down, bring it down
piece by piece, or just blow it all at once.
But just try to let the light of goodness
pass through these walls,
from your world to mine.

Because I know for sure
that there lies a pureness in you
the same goodness, that you were born with
Only somehow, the world took its toll
on that good heart of yours.

Humanity has flourished
and cultures have thrived
when these walls were broken
and melted into ashes
of dust and iron

So, let me see you eye to eye
help me, let you see what I hold
within this heart of mine.
There is no animosity, no bitterness.
All I have for you is pure love my brother.

Thousand Conversations

The thousand conversations
I have had with me
This year
You were in it
Some here, some there
You were all over in it
You were everywhere

These conversations
I have had with me
Were about you
About me
About us
The things I did
The things I couldn’t do

These were in times of deep sadness
I sat alone on the park bench
Talked to myself
And hoped
You would notice
That I was gone
Long

These were in times
Of one of those moments
When I did not know
If its happiness or sadness
That rules my body and soul
But even in that moment
I thought of you and only you

The fear

The feeling of not knowing
Kills my brain

My brain is like an old chair
Bent and hunched
brown and rusted at the bottom
Standing alone in one corner of the room
About to collapse soon

I Sit at my desk and stare outside the
Wall sized bay windows
I often like to look at the sky
Than the city itself

Sometimes have to work real hard
To see the sky
That hides amidst the concrete trees

I tell myself, I am loosing it
Loosing it big time.

My biggest fear you ask;
Is that I might die without
Meaning something in the world

The thought haunted me
First when I was a kid
And at thirty it still persists

Truths and Lies

It’s the way you said
“this is all a sham”
And you feel this way
Everyday, each day

I failed to understand
If you just said it
To hurt me
Or you actually meant
these words you said

Then later that night
We cuddled tight
We made love, with every touch of mine
you moaned each time

I felt lost all that while
Trying to understand
If this is the reality
Or the words that you said
Instead

Every now and then I think
What are we
Why are we together
If these exists no drive within
And then you show me
The side of yours
I feel was made just for me

Jinxed Happiness

I am happy in your happiness
But scared to express it sweetheart
Don’t want to taint it
Don wan to jinx it

Have had hard time knowing
And understanding
What it means being happy

Had it all once,
Had it all gone once
Don’t wan to repeat the same
Thing twice

So have faith and know that I am happy
In your happiness
Just that to express it
I feel crippled

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