We are only Nineteen

I have been dreaming about you
these nights I am lonely
you been all I ever knew

the touch, when you held me
the voice, when you spoke to me
the breath, when you kissed me

The days are long
the nights are longer
and these times unbearable

without you the house haunts me
the life, chokes me
the happiness seem empty

So come back to me
forgot all that happened between
we were too young to understand
we are only nineteen

Forever and Indefinitely

I carry all these thoughts about you
go to work and think about them
try to write them down
but instead get overwhelmed

Look at the phone thousand times
check messages and calls
but don’t do any of these
instead get back to work

And in the evening, when I leave work
and go running
I pay no attention to songs in my ipod
and Its you, I end up thinking

You follow me everywhere
each directions, in happiness and sorrow
you end up filling
my memories, of today and tomorrow

And when I get back home
to you finally,
I just wanna hold you tight
close to my heart
till our breaths collide
for ever and indefinitely.

THE ONE

That night when I cuddled with you
spoke about your happy memories
the sad days and personal stories

You let me in your heart, into your life
shared with me those stories, you had kept secret
from the world, all this while

For all this while, you spoke to none
but when you shared them with me
you made me feel THE ONE

You said you are not scared of me
based on the scars on your chest
you know I won’t judge you
for the ones that I see, the ones that rest in peace

You brought me in your life, promised me the love
that will never last, We spent the night together
relived our past, weaved dreams for future

Unsolicited Blame

She told me I am dead inside
the side of mine that
laid quite tonight

I did not get what she meant
the heart still there
with love hundered percent

I asked, what’s wrong sweetheart
she said she smell someone else’s
perfume on my favorite shirt

Don’t be absurd and silly
I asked her to come closer
for a hug baby

The night we spent in each other’s arms
saw the moon all spent
and sun rise behind the barn

Later that day, I found her talking
to some on the phone
behind close doors, secretly

And so it ended, this story of my love
She blamed me, for the things
She had done

Live Life

The sadness you hold, in your eyes is for me, I was told

The wrinkles on your face, you got it all in just, few days

 

You took care of me, carried me from living to dining room

bathed me, fed me, but I was already doomed

 

I couldn’t hold it more baby, this life was pain to live 

your love was the only beacon of light I could see

 

But when I saw, my life killing you, the pain, the suffering it caused you

it was time for me to leave, and travel that road

 

The one which many have travelled so far

Even though I knew, It would, leave you with scars

 

These scars will heal , live the life, that I was short of

live it for me, for us, live it with all the zeal

When I love you is not enough

I know you did not understand,

when I said I love you

while  we were holding hands

The kiss I had put on your lips

you washed away the same

without a moment missed

The love song that I wrote

you read and tore

for you it was just a paper

but It was my heart inked on

I should have tried harder

found a way to tell you

how much more I love you

Should have searched for the words

that meant more than just plain old

I love you

But I don’t know what else

I should do

to tell you that I loved you

and I love you.

Fake Love

When you don’t talk to me, get angry or annoyed with me
I beg or plea, it doesn’t matter to you
just remember heart like mine is very few

So better hold on to and stick with it
Or don’t cry later, if someone else steals it

The winds of change blow all the time
my love for you is eternal , or not, I don’t know
but I am sure it is not ephemeral

The time is a living dynamite
without you knowing, can blow up anytime
so stick with my heart and don’t break it
just think love, forget what’s wrong, or what’s right.

Remember, the promises we made
were not for a while, think of the vows we took
don’t caste all that aside

Life is not same, for you and me, will never be the same forever,
this moment is what we make or break, so let’s just love and not fake

You are Branded

Life they say is what you make of it, what do you do when you are grieving
You know for sure that; smile and the world smile with you
grief and you grief alone

What happens when there is contentness
in grieving, in pain, in all the suffering you go through
You know you are scared, of tainting happiness
hence you leave happiness alone

You live in dejection, in dispirited heart
Enjoy the pain it causes you , it brings out the best of art in you
you live with smile on your face, for the world to see
and keep the innerself unkown

You think what’s the point, in revealing what’s within
when on earth has this helped anyone
there exists more detractors, more who brand you as negative thinker
but you still hang on to them, and don’t disown

They are all you got, in the world that don’t get you
the place, the time all such variables
exist to give your presence a meaning
little they know, that you have already
defined yourself, already carved the path
for the past and the future you have already sown

You appreciate both sides of the world
your range of emotional experience surpasses theirs
They pretend that they are happy, they pretend that they are content
and it marks the death of their progress, because the true happiness
this pretense has never known

YOu are what you are, you did not ask for lord to be this way
you take it, deal with it, and make the best out of it
just because you are down, doesn’t mean you are not happy
As what is happiness if not a hint of sadness
You value both sides of the coin, and none of these emotions
you have outgrown.

Return to NEST

From the nest we flew
one by one we left,
the only home we knew

Spread our wings in outer spaces
in search of new days, and experience places

Figure ourselves inside and out
what lies within, what we are about

Kept running all around
the answers , none of us found

Thought about the home we left
the divinity it contained, the humble nest

We flew back to home we miss
to seek unconditional love
and care it consist

The remains is what we found
the shackles, the rambles
we saw and frowned

Came out old body and souls
these eyes failed to recognized
came closer,  we saw life had taken its toll

We hugged and embraced
wiped off the tears, from those old faces

Apologized for all the betrays
promised never to leave them again
we touched feet and vouchsafed
not a word of complaint they said

Was up Whole night

When I saw you leave
I drank my pain
with a bottle of gin
was up whole night
till the night was dim

Sun woke up
burnt my face
as I laid on the couch
with my mouth dry
and that feeling I hate

I laid on the sofa
for the day
called sick at work
switched channels on TV
and got some more drunk

I waited and waited for you to call
that never happend
I realized you meant it
when you said you were leaving me

This place aint no home
the bed is bed of thorns
the heart is a mess
and is bleeding inside

The other day, when I saw you
smile stretched my face
for the first time
in a long time
I felt different inside

the moment was short
shorter than a second
when you hugged that man
and placed a kiss on his lips
as you held his hand

So I drank some more of my pain
with a bottle of gin
was up many more nights
only this time
till my breath was dim.

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